Today an article caught my eye: Coping with the Caveman in the Crib. It talked about techniques to control toddlers with temper tantrums. After reading the comments by dozens of parents, I was surprised to find that nobody mentioned one of the most effective tools: anticipation. In filmmaking pre-production, if you are able to anticipate the conditions and potencial obstacles of the shoot, things will move along more smoothly once you start rolling. It seems to me that a positive dynamic with a toddler works in a similar way: anticipation will lower their levels of anxiety; in my experience, a regular cause for temper tantrums is uncertainty. Here is my response to the column, in case some parent may find it useful:
I have a boy who is almost three who rarely throws tantrums; he is very cooperative in private and public places. Today at the supermarket an elderly lady congratulated me because he was so well-mannered and helpful (he was picking the peaches and putting them into a bag). What’s the secret? One of the first concepts he learned was “I promise…” and he also understood it works both ways. If he wants to do something right away, I propose to do something else first and promise to go back to his wishes after that. If he says he want to eat something now, I suggest pushing the cart first and promising that we will eat something later. At the end of the proposition he asks, “Do you promise?” And I’ll say, “I promise”. The good thing is that “afterwards” and “later” can stretch a long way… He actually does not mind if it takes a while before his needs are met because he knows that IT WILL HAPPEN eventually because I promised. This calms his anxiety; he knows that he can anticipate the fulfillment of his desires at some point. There is one thing you must never do: NEVER PROMISE SOMETHING THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN. I’ve warned everybody that is involved in my child’s care about the seriousness of promises so that this technique can work.
Hoy un artículo me llamó la atención: Lidiando con el cavernícola de la cuna. Exponía técnicas para manejar niños con pataletas o berrinches. Después de leer los comentarios de una docena de padres, me sorprendió que ninguno mencionara una de las herramientas más efectivas: la anticipación. En el proceso de pre-producción de una película, si eres capaz de prever cúles serán los principales problemas y obstáculos, las cosas tienen mayores posibilidades de ir sobre ruedas una vez que se empieza al rodar.
